“It was so good to have you in class today. Tell me you’re teaching” she said.
Smiling wryly, I collapsed a little inside. “Not here” I replied after an instant, realizing my eyes must’ve flickered. “You poked the feminist; my apologies. I’ve found more audience outside my home territory. So no. I’m not teaching. Here.”
The theme for this year’s Convocation was Rebirth in the Sea of Divine Knowledge. While 2015 was a year of much tumult, 2016 has the appearance of calm & sunny skies. The numbers escape me at the moment, but I spent many nights abroad last year. My private life underwent dramatic change, health demanded attention, I began ground work for my business. The fall of 2016 found me hospitalized and missing professional engagements; while new life was being conceived and announced in my family.
Such, I think, is the beauty and medicine of midlife. Life and death and change and constancy all pressed up against one another. The birth of my daughter catalyzed a Goddess-awakening in my body, my consciousness, my life, my family, my Tribe, my work, my life’s narrative. Embracing a heavenly-endowed Mother role, and doing so consciously, conscientiously, with intent and understanding of the implications therein – that’s what got me here. The folly of maidendom is behind me; the innocence of girlhood has passed. So, too, can I see where I’m headed. The crone. Goodness, do I know some badass elder witches.
So the last year has had tides of connected and alienated, saccharine and sacred, domestic and divine, rendering me indeed worse for the wear. I was in market for a rebirth, and being the linguistics nerd that I am, the word-symbol is significant.
Two years ago, this same event, I was on birth-watch for my niece. Proudly, I walked right up to Security and explained the situation. Of course I wouldn’t have to upset a ritual or disrupt a class in-progress, but just so it was known that I might have to split. With Cause. It was overly eager; we were in advance of mama’s due date by easily 15 days. Still, anything can happen with labor and birth, so necessity and prevention and things. Same mama, 24 mos later, is laboring when I get to the Con. My own son’s gf is expecting, due this May. I’ve just adopted a kitten; it feels like my own self is being rebirthed.
Resurrection; renewal. Always returning and returning. In this Mother phase of my path, I accept and embrace the many soul-babies I nurture. I’ve had a reluctant relationship with parenting, nurturing, feminine roles, domestic duties, wifeyness. For this next moon phase, I will remember to place myself and my Soul on the list of things I am growing and nurturing. Along with the ecosystems and gardens I tilled and planted and prepared and maintain already.